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Leaving a Legacy; Important to me? Or not?

Posted 8/31/2021


I never thought of “leaving a legacy” till I started hearing of who I‘ve been for people in their own unique experiences of me, with them and after diagnosis. Do we in general, even think of leaving a legacy? Maybe we think of what we want to be remembered for, or as by our closest circles, but leaving a legacy was never on my radar of topics before till now.


Let me first start with, what does “leaving a legacy” mean to me. It means how people leave their unique mark on the planet after death. What was remembered, accomplished, perhaps even experienced as simple as it may be with one person to the next. It’s intimate, it’s outrageous, it’s big or small. Leaving a legacy is something for those also directly close to that person where we can say, “Yes, he or she was known for this!” A proud reference to put in the literal sense of history books or a mark where many benefitted from for the better and higher good! 


Is leaving a legacy important to me? To be truthful, “leaving” a legacy is not… but “MY” legacy? ABSOLUTELY unequivocally is!!


Then, when I sent out an online poll, inviting for my next blog idea, “leaving a legacy” was the highest chosen out of three, so here I am, writing about a subject that quite frankly is both humbling and occurs for me as vain to write about. 


What do I want to be remembered for?

What’s important to me after I’m no longer here?

And, what do I hope sustains itself, in all that I am and have done, after I’m gone? 


I hope to remembered as “love” 


Love is a unique feeling quite physically in my heart, I feel a unique heart pound and movement for every unique relationship whether it’s with my children, my family, my friends, even strangers. 


I have to admit, I’d be withholding if I didn’t say anything and it’s vulnerable to share but I’m sad I never found intimate love with a partner where I was protected, safe, cared for and loved as a lover and friend to the end. I dreamed for it, I still dream for it, it’s never to late I know. I have a few admirers indeed but I am one to believe (for myself) – intimate love has to be a natural comfortable sway – not one sided, otherwise it’s forced, uncomfortable and predictable. 


I hope to remembered as a good mother. Fingers crossed. 


I know it appears out there that I’m a good mother but I’ve had my share of really bad moments and choices that have caused some trauma and opinions. I hope I’m remembered more for the moments that brought fun, play, adventure, safety and dreams. I worked hard to do the best I could being a single mom most of my kids life, albeit living in probably more then two handful of houses across the GTA, I know, when I look at my kids today, the hard lesson’s I learned, they learned right along side of me. I taught them to soar and be on their own and today I am proudly watching them across Canada and Globe go after their dreams – so doing that? Tells me I didn’t do too bad! 


What’s important to me after I’m no longer here? 


It’s important to me that my kids know that I’m always by their side, even when I’m physically no longer here. 

It’s important to me that my friend’s know the place in my heart they will always be.

It’s important to me that my sister and brother have their own ways to know when I’m right beside them at the perfect moments when I’m no longer here. 

It’s important to me that either Loverin’s Law is mandated or atleast an abuse prevention and awareness week is mandated in our schools, I really hope kids are given the opportunity to learn about abuse prevention early.


What I hope sustains itself after I’m gone is;

My children’s health well being, safety and their hearts and happiness lives on forever

I hope my book is sustainably used for advocacy for mental health, wellness, policy change, support and hope for victims of assault. 


In the end leaving a legacy is whatever really comes out of people’s experience of me, whether directly or not. I hope to leave some kind of connection for love, hope, trust, vulnerability and sustainable change for anything good is possible! 


And really? My legacy?

Is my Emmaskye and Ralston