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Found NOT GUILTY; What are my last words

Posted 10/23/2021

Dear “Ex Husband”;

Police did nothing about the perpetrators attempt to defame my name publiclyPolice did nothing about the perpetrators attempt to defame my name publicly
I won’t say your name, (because people have asked for your name) respectfully because, unlike you, who “tried” to publicly shame and defame my name instead, I’ll leave your name up to google search when people plug my own name, because YOU do still show up in image under my name! 


My intention? To responsibly protect ALL women from you and have you identified on any ones “own” search for assault predators! 


You’ve been charged now by two wives with assault and I pray for any woman after me that they aren’t trolled by your Latin manipulations of charm, and your narcissistic (description coined by your first wife),  abusing patterns. 


Answers to many questions I’ve been asked by friends, family and followers who’ve been following my journey, I’ll answer a few with this trial are; 


Q. How are you with the verdict?

A. Indifferent

Q. Why? Aren’t you angry?

A. I’m not angry I’m disappointed and not surprised because with him, he never took accountability always blamed his exes, calling us all names, going as far back as blaming his communist upbringing, he NEVER owns his actions so, for how I loved him and looked at him as bigger than his actions, I’m disappointed and not surprised! Same for the Justice system! It’s outdated with a LOT of flaws, he used the system to its full advantage while also taking advantage of knowing my health, he won because he was not guilty, he won because he took advantage of both! He always lived with an under belly of wanting more, better, never happy enough… now with this kind of ugly win… karma is the last Bitch he will make love with! 


Q. You’ve said you’ve forgiven, how do you? How can you? 

A. I know forgiveness as only a anchor and gives power over to the perpetrator. I don’t want the weight of anger, I’m not an angry person and he doesn’t deserve my power. 


Q. What exactly did he do to you? 

A. You can read about that relationship from the moment we met to the last words said to each other in my book, God? WTF?! 


Q. How are your kids with this verdict? 

A. I can’t answer “for them” but I will paraphrase what both said to me. “I’m proud of you mom for hanging on no matter what, our Justice system sucks and karma will get him” 


I’ll end this blog with, I intend to get hold of the trial’s transcripts. One wish I did get granted by the courts was their release of the permanent public ban. I am considering on writing another book to show what the inside trial looked like (no naming names except my own),  from my video testimony to his jury held testimony, up to the verdict. My intention for the book would be for the criminal and Justice students to use so they can make a positive and permanent change for assault victims and with our Justice system. Students today, I know are our real change leaders! 


Let me know in your feedback or comments if you think that I should write that second book? Sexual Assault: An inside look of my trial & Canadian Justice


Charmaine Loverin